How nice you are! Is a phrase that is one of the nicest compliments you can give to a person. Be happy when someone, a loved one, or a colleague tells you. But beware! I say “nice”, not “too nice”. Too much is always pejorative.
Kindness is one of the qualities required for members of a society to live in harmony and happiness. Without this sublime quality, you and your neighbor will surely pull your hair out from time to time.
You have to be careful all the same! An excess of benevolence and friendliness becomes dangerous for someone who gives without counting. You are sad? Bad in your skin? Do you ever feel depressed? Ask yourself, “Am I not too nice?”
Too much kindness: what is it?
First of all, to be kind is to take care of others and to be of service to them. It’s a great quality to have. Other people take excessive care of those around them to such an extent that they forget their own beings.
It becomes a defect since there is an excess. Obviously, few people are too nice these days. However, that does not prevent you from being part of it.
So check how much time you give to others versus how much time you take for yourself.
Kind and lacking in assertiveness
Some people mistake being kind for a lack of assertiveness. Being assertive means knowing how to clearly express your opinions and how you feel.
When you have difficulty expressing yourself, you may find it difficult to say no to other people’s wishes. You are therefore obliged to provide the services requested. In this case, you seem to be too nice.
Being too kind and being depressed: a strong connection
Depression is considered an illness. It affects all categories of people, whether they are in adulthood, adolescence, or even childhood.
The elderly are not spared from this phenomenon either. Men or women can be depressed, but women are the most prone to the disease. Depression begins with sadness. The depressed person sees their life in black and white.
Favorite activities lose their interest. Sleep is disturbed. The patient feels a drop in energy as well as chronic fatigue. Thoughts of suicide can even graze the mind of the depressed.
There are many origins of depression, but being overly kind is a significant cause of this disease.
Always say yes
Not knowing how to say “no” and always being ready to help generate frustrations. Every day, one or more people around you need a helping hand from you. Imagine that you are going to accept every request! You will surely not have enough time to take care of your personal life.
Human-like, you will undoubtedly need the help of those close to you. However, these will not always be available, be aware.
And it is not often their fault. They can say “no” when necessary. At that moment, certain disappointment! You’re going to ask yourself, “Why don’t I deserve the help that others get?” It could be that the guilt of your friends is taking place.
To read: St. John’s Wort to treat depression
A person who is too kind is noticeable. She always accepts to offer her help even at the expense of herself. Real friends aren’t the only ones who know that, you’re nice too.
Other people who want to hurt your life can use your excess of kindness. They can pretend to be friends. Then they risk taking advantage and even abusing your altruism.
In the end, you realize that everything that was going on was just superficial friendship. Sadness, disappointment, and depression are then present. Remember, however, that not all people are like this.
How to get out of the depression caused by being overly kind?
Reconstruction is essential. If you are suffering from depression, and you want to get well, you need to get out of the negative vibes. Stay away from profiteers. Light therapy and also very effective, especially with lamps light therapies.
Take care of yourself
Start doing activities for your own good, and not always for the good of others. Constantly paying attention to the opinions of others is detrimental to your health and well-being.
We must therefore learn to reduce this attention. When you are strong enough, you can do without what others think or say about you. It helps a lot to get out of depression.
Self-confidence is an effective remedy. But how to prepare this treatment which is often difficult to acquire? You have to spend time with yourself.
You can do some sport and take care of your body. Traveling is also good for personal growth. You can also read. Spending time alone shapes your personality. It’s learning to love yourself.
Learn to say no
Learning to say no is difficult for a person who is used to accepting anything that is asked of them. However, it is a necessary evil, and it is only the first step that counts. When you make this gesture of rejection for once, those around you will realize that you too have a life to take care of.
The good people will understand you while the bad guys will judge you about your change. At this point, remember not to always pay attention to the opinions of others.
To get out of a depression, it is better to surround yourself with the right people. Choose well-meaning friends, those who don’t exploit your vulnerability. True friends don’t take advantage of your extreme kindness. They are happy about your change for the better.
They won’t blame you for your eventual downtime because they understand that you need to take care of your life just like everyone else. Knowing how to distinguish relatives is important.
To conclude, depression, a disease that affects many children, adolescents, and adults, has many possible causes. The excess of kindness is one of them. When you are always ready to help others, you can forget about your own life. Not getting help in return, which is a common situation, is very frustrating.
In addition, some people just take advantage of the nice people they meet. These individuals let themselves be walked on without daring to say no to all requests for services. To recover from depression, you need to take time for yourself. Choosing the right people to train those around you is also essential.