Loving and being loved in return is perhaps one of the most wonderful adventures in life. Only sometimes, it happens that we are the only person to invest in the relationship.
This can also happen in any type of relationship, on a friendly, family, professional level… But in love, it is all the more painful, and we sometimes hide our faces.
Identify the 7 signs that your love is unfortunately one-sided, and find out with us how to avoid falling into this trap.
One-sided love, what is it?
When we talk about one-sided love or one-sided relationship, it simply means that a person gives everything, or almost, in the relationship, but without receiving the same.
Affective investment is not reciprocal. Engagement is really there on one side, but not (or much less) on the other.
One-sided love is ultimately an unshared relationship. In a loving relationship, we share our lives, our feelings, our projects; we spend our time together.
In a one-sided relationship, sharing is not fair; it looks like we’re just not on the same page.
There must be two (minimum) in a relationship. And if one invests more than the other, the relationship will necessarily be unbalanced.
It’s pure logic! There are 2 possible scenarios: you have feelings for a person with whom you are not in a relationship, or you’re in a relationship with a partner who doesn’t give as much as you do.
In any case, loving someone without being loved in the same way is a real source of pain.
It’s not a healthy, balanced relationship that you can thrive in for the long haul! One thing is certain: if you are the only person to invest in this love, you will also be the only person to suffer from it. Think of you!
What are the signs of one-sided love?
If you find yourself in one or more of the following situations, you can be sure that your relationship is one-sided.
You are the initiator of everything
If you do not initiate the contact, there is no sign of life from him. It is you who propose, and you are at the initiative of everything … Otherwise, nothing changes.
You are not his priority
You go second, even third, or even a thousandth of the time. While you invest yourself fully, to the point that you sometimes neglect your other relationships (friends, family…), your partner or your crush will never put you first.
You are at their disposal, and not the other way around
You can try to communicate without ever getting feedback from him, and then when the other decides to come back …
You must be at his disposal! Moreover, YOU make yourself present for the other. But yes, you finally have a sign of life… It would be too stupid to miss such an opportunity, right?
You do everything to make the relationship work. You can even crash sometimes. But the converse is not true! You are the one who is constantly adapting. Moreover, generally, the other expresses neither regrets nor apologies.
You feel that the other is not fully available
You have this unpleasant feeling that he or she is not always present with you. Even if your love is physically present, it is not really there. It’s as if he prefers to be somewhere else!
You do not share any projects or common commitments
You want to build things with the loved one, you project yourself into a future together … But this is not the case on the other side. The other does not bring up the subject and may try to avoid this type of conversation.
You feel frustrated
This is the most obvious sign, and yet … There is no one more blind than someone who does not want to see. On the other hand, by being really honest with yourself, you will inevitably be able to recognize this very unpleasant feeling inside of you.
You keep hoping, but often end up disappointed. You expect more, and it is more than you can ever get.
How to avoid falling into this trap?
Basically, whether that person is totally incapable of actually loving anyone (hello narcissistic perverts!), Or that they are just not your soul mate, it doesn’t matter.
Don’t you want a real relationship, a mutual love? Here are some tips on how to avoid or even get out of one-sided love.
Declare your love from the start
At least you will be settled and the situation will become crystal clear! Disclosing your feelings is scary for everyone.
But think about it: is it better to declare yourself, to be rejected and to be able to move on; or to say nothing, to hope continually for nothing and in the end to remain in a situation of rejection?
How to develop a healthy and fulfilling relationship if we do not base projects on a future together?
If you have expectations on your side, and it’s not reciprocated, you’ll be wasting your time hoping for something that unfortunately never happens.
I am going to quote you a sentence that has always marked me: do not make someone a priority in your life when you are not one in theirs.
Don’t make this relationship your only goal. In your life, you have other goals to achieve. It goes back to the famous adage “You shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket”.
Don’t neglect your job or your studies, don’t cut your ties with other people. Not only will it change your mind, avoiding your focus on your crush, but it may allow you to have other encounters and great experiences.
Ask yourself the right questions
What do you want in your life? What do you deserve? What type of relationship do you want to thrive in?
No, but really, do you deserve to be in love with someone who doesn’t show they love you back? If you answer yes to that, then you will have to ask yourself other types of questions …
Here, it is the final step that will make you switch in the right direction. But what a waste of time! It’s an investment in the wind, where you just waste your energy, with no profit whatsoever.
We really hope that this click occurs. You will realize that all of this will serve you later to build a real relationship that will satisfy you.
Open up to the rest of the world
Don’t be closed off to other people, keep your eyes open! If you are not fulfilled in this relationship, why are you stubbornly stuck in it?
Get out of your comfort zone to get out of this suffering. Your love is one-sided, and your suffering is one-sided too. So why continue to suffer all alone in your corner?
There are so many wonders to be discovered in the world. You still have so many beautiful things to experience. Please don’t miss out on anything that could make you happy.
Through the 7 signs of a one-sided relationship that we have explained to you, we can already feel how one-sided love is a terrible burden to carry. Don’t get stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make you feel good.
Become aware of the nature of what you are going through, and question the choices you want for your own life. Everyone deserves to be happy, so make yourself and your happiness a priority.