Society constantly requires us to surpass ourselves, to surpass ourselves, at home, at work, and sometimes even in our leisure time.
These injunctions regularly lead to questioning, generate doubt, and can generate stress linked to a perpetual search for perfection.
In these conditions, it is sometimes difficult to find the motivation to keep moving forward.
To help you during these uncertain times and regain your resolve, I suggest you focus on 10 things to remember when you think you suck.
I list my strengths and accomplishments
Start by writing down your strengths on a piece of paper and keep them with you always. To help you, you can take the following steps:
- Identify what is easy for you
- Think about what you like to do
- Ask your personal and professional entourage in which area they find you good
- Reflect on examples of successes in your past
Thus, in case of doubt about your abilities, you can refer to a concrete and objective list which, when you are in the grip of doubt, will remind you of your strengths and demonstrate your ability to “be good”.
I’m learning to be less a perfectionist
Tal Ben-Shahar, an American-Israeli professor and holder of a Doctorate in Organizational Behavior from the prestigious American University of Harvard, continues to spread the clear message that differentiates perfectionism from “optimalism” that one can also translate as “the art of imperfect perfection”.
The “positive psychology” disseminated by this internationally renowned author and teacher teaches us that failure can also be an opportunity.
Also, striving for perfection is poisonous when it is the only goal because it prevents us from moving forward and staying on the negative.
Aiming for the best while taking into account reality, the constraints of the environment, and your own limitations is a first step in avoiding thinking that you have not been good enough.
I am done with self-criticism and I analyze my negative thought patterns
Thinking that we should have and could have done better, constantly questioning our skills, is the sign of a negative thought anchored in us.
To remedy this, many authors help you decipher this way of thinking and transform it little by little.
Annika Ebestein in her book “ Positive Thinking “, for example, shows you how to get rid of negative thoughts, overcome fears and manage stress. By constantly stopping self-criticism, you learn to stop doubting your own abilities.
I assess my potential with a quantified grid
Based on the “success notebooks” developed for children in National Education in certain schools, this method is very effective for anyone who wishes to prove to himself that he was right, at a given moment, to have had confidence in him.
When “you think you are not good enough, ” start rating your past successes on a 0-10 scale; this will constitute an interesting working basis if you wish to clearly assess a current situation.
By choosing goals you have achieved in the past and writing them down and then comparing them with those you find less successful, you will have an easy way to see if your feeling of being “less good” than before is justified or not.
I stop bullying myself and I empathize with myself
As the saying goes, “it is only those who do nothing who do not make mistakes”!
Did you slip up, you weren’t as good as you wanted? So what? No need to go after yourself.
Learning from mistakes is a necessary step to better avoid them next time and learn to become better.
Learn to be gentle with yourself; proverbs often reflect a truth full of common sense.
I’m aiming big!
In his bestseller with 6 million copies sold “The Magic of Thinking Big”, David J. Schwartz invites us to change our outlook on ourselves to change our entire life:
“Think big and you will live the high life. You will experience great happiness. You will experience great achievements ”.
Around the world, millions of people have improved their lives through the magic of thinking big. Apply this method when you feel less performing.
I’m taking a break
Stop! To get off to a good start and regain your motivation, it is necessary to take regular breaks. At the rate of his choice and his possibilities.
When we feel “less good”, we are often also more tired, more stressed.
So we rest. Calm down. We cut the screens during the evening and we do not neglect his sleep.
Sleep, mediation, relaxation, relaxation therapy, studies have shown a strong link between self-esteem and rest. It’s all about the balance between basic needs and needs to be fulfilled.
Abraham Maslow in his famous pyramid had already modeled it in 1940!
I stop telling myself that I’m no good
Stop rumination! The theme of a special issue of the magazine Psychologies, this issue gives you practical advice and teaches you not to dwell on bad times.
If you haven’t been good or even been completely bad on one occasion, there is no point in hanging around on that negative thought.
I congratulate myself on my successes and learn to appreciate my successes
Offering yourself a small gift or spoiling a loved one with special attention after a great personal success is also a good way to remember when you think you are less good, that you have been excellent at least once!
By thinking back to the object, the film or the shared show, the exit or the privileged moment spent following this success, you will have reliable support to positively rethink your ability to succeed in what you undertake.
I clear my mind
When a negative thought strikes you about your performance, take a break!
Airing out, walking, running, playing sports, will help you put your ideas back in place.
In addition, by stimulating your immune and endocrine system, the body releases endorphins – natural hormones of well-being – and will help you see more clearly and definitely put an end to the idea that you are not good!
As you will have understood, feeling “not good enough” is a question of point of view that you can modify, thanks to adapted behaviors and changes in attitudes that are easy to adopt daily.
Because each of us has an ambition capital of its own, act on our strengths and make it a driving force to move forward and gain confidence.